I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Come see our sink grown plant.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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