Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize