Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Someone shattered a urinal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
