Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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