time to smoke my breakfast
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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