I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
