we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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