I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize