sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
