he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
