Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
