There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
smell my finger.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
