Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
