I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
