Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
