these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
