your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
