My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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