i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
