so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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