I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
