they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
