meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
