Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
