Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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