shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
