school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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