O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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