There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
