I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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