Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
