I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
