I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
