sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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