is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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