Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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