Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need a beard to bite.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
