A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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