Where did you get a picture of my penis
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
