Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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