Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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