You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
