Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
