My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize