I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
