God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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