it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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