For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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