I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
