White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
