I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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