Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i've created a new STD.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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