And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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