Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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