first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
