You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
