But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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