Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize